(NOTE TO READERS: this blog talks about a recently-released movie and how it ends. I wouldn't call the ending a "surprise," but if you're planning on seeing it and want to do so with a completely clean slate, you may want to bookmark this page and come back later).
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You sure you want to do this?
That's what I said to my wife when she suggested that we all go see the movie Marley and Me on Saturday afternoon. I love family movies - we don't do them a lot, mainly because, you know, we have bills to pay and stuff, and treating the gang to the theater experience may involve a second mortgage on the house. But they're fun little rare outings, and the younger is just now getting to the age where he can actually get something out of it (and allow Mom and Dad to do the same).
We'd seen the funny movie commercials, and I've always liked Owen Wilson and thought Jennifer Aniston never quite got to show her acting chops on Friends. But I also knew what else happened in the story, and I don't think I'm giving anything away here (the book has been out for a while now and most folks know the general story line). Our family are big dog lovers - we've got three right now - and I just didn't know. I was worried about how the boys would handle it, as well as my wife, who's a huge dog lover. And truth be told, I was just as worried about how I would handle it too.
But there I was, standing in the long concessions line while the wife and kids went to stake out seats during the previews. I feel a tug on my jacket, and turn around to see a friend. "Whatcha here to see," he asks. I tell him and he lets out a sigh. "Man. My family saw that yesterday. Better take some kleenex." He was going to see Tom Cruise's Valkyrie. For a second I thought of going with him.
The movie itself is really cute. Wilson and Aniston do a great job together. The various dogs who play Marley at different points in his life are incredible - I just don't know how you get a dog to "act," you know? It's wonderful fun for the family, although I wouldn't really call it a true "kid movie." There are a few choice words thrown around and there's a bedroom scene that doesn't go anywhere but certainly leaves little to the imagination. Still, the boys seemed to enjoy all the cute dog scenes. And in many ways the movie is not just about a dog. It's about a family and the many transitions - expected and unexpected - that life can throw at you. Very well done.
But about halfway through the movie little things happen and you can see where it's going. Marley doesn't chew things up like he used to. Marley can't make it up the stairs. All of this is hitting home, for two reasons. One, we have a much beloved golden retriever in our house who is getting up there in years and showing some of the same signs. Second, back in the fall of 2006, the dog that had been with me since before I was married - Bailey - contracted a very aggressive form of cancer. Surgery would’ve given her only an additional 4-6 months at best - you get the picture. I certainly had memories of Bailey running through my mind as I watched this movie. I had the kleenex close at hand, and it wasn't just my wife and eldest who made use of them.
While the movie went a little over our youngest's head, the elder and I had a good honest conversation when we got home. The movie has a pretty straight-forward scene in the vet's office near the end, and I wanted to make sure he understood what he saw. He did. As any parent I'm pained when my child struggles with their emotions. I don't like for them to hurt. But as much as we try, we parents simply cannot protect our kids from the inevitable realities of life. As my wife said before we went - death is a part of life, they're going to be faced with it anyway. As usual, she was right. I'd rather face it as a family and have time to talk about it together than leave them up to their own devices.
Now, a few hours removed, I'm not sure what this blog is exactly about. It's not really a movie review. Although if it were, I think I'd borrow my son's thoughts upon exiting the theater: I liked the movie, Daddy - but I hated the ending. Out of the mouths of babes....
And this blog is not really a piece on dealing with loss, either. Although I'm a big believer that we as a society tend to minimize the loss of pets, much to our detriment. Folks are less likely to "trouble" their friends and pastor about a sick or dying pet. But for many of us, pets are important members of our family, and their loss is significant. We should feel just as comfortable allowing others to support us in these types of losses too.
Perhaps this blog is about me as a human being processing a deeply emotional experience and not being ashamed of it. And yes, I do wonder if we would've been better partaking of something a little more "uplifting" just a few days removed from Christmas. But then I think: if this season is about celebrating the gifts of loved ones in our lives, certainly this applies to those who walk on four legs as well as those who walk on two. I can tell you this - I'll be hugging my kids a little tighter tonight and spending a little more time petting the family dog. And I'll be thanking my wife for suggesting we head to the movie theater today.
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POSTSCRIPT: Just in case you're interested, here's a poem that someone gave me when Bailey died that I found incredibly comforting. And for a good children's book dealing with the death of a pet, I'd suggest Goodbye Mousie by Robie Harris.
Marley and Me is money to a great extent because Jennifer Aniston is money; Owen Wilson is... not so much
Posted by: coffeerama | January 03, 2009 at 09:17 PM