Thoughts and Musings on Faith, Music, Family, Life

Good news from the Factivist

He's also the frontman for a rock band I'm pretty fond of, as evidenced in a recent blog post. For years, Bono has been out there telling the world that we need to step it up in the fight against poverty. Now, in this recent TED Talk, he tells us that what we're doing is working and that we need to keep it up. As only an Irish lyricist can put it, "We can't get this done until we really accept that we can get this done."

Let's get this done. It'll be a Beautiful Day when we do (sorry, couldn't resist).

(Click HERE if the video clip doesn't show above. Oh, and be advised, as there's a tiny bit of adult language and humor involved).

30 years ago today, the "War" began

February 28th, 1983: it was a Monday, so I was in class. 9th grade, to be exact.  It may have been the Monday we dissected frogs in Biology - and froze while doing so, since our new-age teacher believed in free-flowing spirits and always left the class windows cracked open.  It may have been the Monday I got to read the part of Romeo in our English unit on Shakespeare, secretly hoping that Donna H. would read Juliet.  It may have been the Monday that fellow freshman Leroy A. tapped me on the shoulder and asked (quite nicely) if I'd let him cheat off my History test (I didn't); or the Monday all the boys fawned over our fresh-out-of-college Chemistry teacher. Well, truth be told, we did that every day.

But for four early twenty-somethings who played in an Irish rock band, February 28, 1983 was the day they would release an album that would change their lives forever, and soon enough would change mine.

I remember when I first heard U2's War. It was later that same year in either April or May.  Polly Guthrie handed me a recorded cassette tape after school: Check this out, Steve, I think you might like it.  I actually didn't at first. Yep, you heard right.  This U2 fanatic was a hardened skeptic at first. In an era where popular music was refined for mass consumption, War was too rough around the edges for my early 80's ears.  Too in-your-face for my face.

It was only after a second and third listen that I began to "get it."  The discombobulation experienced when listening to War for the first time was precisely what I needed it to do.  The pounding drums, the thumping bass, the screaming guitars, the intense and impassioned vocals.  And the message: was he singing about God, or a girl?  Or both?  And if he was singing about God, why was he being so angry about it?  Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant were the only ones in my music collection singing about God, and they didn't sound anything like this. Could you really sing about God and be indignant and up-in-arms while doing so?  Oh, that moment when a young lad hears the sound of righteous indignation for the first time. No more! No more! Wipe your tears away! Wipe your tears away!

I played that cassette until the tape wrapped around the little wheels inside the player and spilled out onto my bedroom floor.  So I bought the album, and bought every one after that. Well, the earlier ones first, Boy and October. I had some catching up to do. And then: Under A Blood Red Sky. The Unforgettable Fire.  Wide Awake In America. The Joshua Tree.  Rattle And Hum.  Achtung Baby.  Zooropa. Pop (not at first, though. This one took some time). All That You Can't Leave Behind. How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. No Line On The Horizon.  Nearly three-quarters of my time on this planet.

To say U2 have been a constant in my life since February 28, 1983 would be doing injustice to the concept of constants.  And it goes beyond their albums.  I've seen them in concert multiple times.  I've read dozens of books about them and by them.  I've covered their songs in my own gigs.  Before my oldest son could say his ABC's he was reciting the band members' names and their corresponding instrument; and with great fatherly pride I recall how, at the tender age of six, he learned to play the opening drum riff for "Sunday Bloody Sunday."  I've quoted their inspiring activist lead singer in numerous sermons and even sung their song acapella in one.   I've been told I'm the only preacher around with a signed picture of Bono hanging in his office.

If the holy scriptures are the script for my life, then U2 is the soundtrack. I hope to God there are more acts written, and if the rumors are to be believed about a new album sometime this year, I'll be the first in line to get it.

For today, though, I'll be listening to their seminal album non-stop. Bono, Edge, Larry, Adam - thanks a bunch for starting the War thirty years ago today.  Keep fighting the fight.

What I'm listening to in the new year

 Back on January 1 I fired up the DVR to watch some of the New Years Eve specials that I missed when I was out the night before making music of my own.  Ugh. I couldn't decide if these "musical acts" were intended to be a nod to all that was supposedly good in 2012, or some sort of exorcism of the worst of the last twelve months in order to begin 2013 with a clean slate. I think it was meant to be the former, but it sure felt like the latter.

It seems odd that, in an era when music of all genres and quality levels can be readily accessed via technological means (my favorite method of new discovery being Spotify), mainstream culture continues to stubbornly gravitate toward the lower end of the musical spectrum.  For the life of me, I can't figure out why this "sells." 

Still, though, there is hope.  When The Colbert Report has music, for instance, you can pretty much guarantee it's legit.  Case in point:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

I know, it was just the interview and not the music.  For some reason Colbert's website took it down. I guess in a sense that kind of negates my whole point. Dangit.

Anyway, the thing is that over the years I've been in the habit of sharing, for what it's worth, some of the music that's currently occupying my sonic airspace. As always, a short disclaimer: if you're looking for in-depth musical and lyrical analysis, you're probably not going to get it here.  I paint with broad strokes, so let it simply whet your appetite.  I welcome not only your thoughts on the bands and artists I highlight, but your own recommendations as well.

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MERCYLAND: HYMNS FOR THE REST OF US - Admit it: the title alone piques your interest.  It should.  I'm not typically a fan of compilations, but this one made a pretty quick jump from my free Spotify playlist to the iTunes catalog.  Think cutting edge artists of the day making music that is spiritual but not steeped in doctrine; opening the pearly gates wide rather than standing a big huge bouncer at the door.  Musically, you simply can't go wrong with the likes of The Civil Wars, Shawn Mullins, Carolina Chocolate Drops, and Emmylou Harris.  Lyrically, you can't go wrong with songs like Mullins' "Give God The Blues:" God don't hate the Muslim / God don't hate the Jew / God don't hate the Christian / But we all give God the blues. Indeed we do, Shawn.  Maybe "the rest of us" needs to be "all of us."

 

CHRISTOPHER SMITH, EARNING KEEP - Man, those Canadiens can make some music.  Although this guy doesn't hail from the prolific Toronto scene (read: Arcade Fire, Barenaked Ladies, Broken Social Scene, The Most Serene Republic, etc) - he's a Vancouver boy that's vying to give the West Coast some props.  In a word - mellow.  For some reason I stumbled on his latest album I had a good friend mention his latest album, Earning Keep, while working on a sermon this past week at a New Years Eve dinner party.  Turns out its good sermonizing music. Usually I can't write and listen to someone singing, but this album is an exception.  Subtle vocals and ambient guitars that at times hint at Radiohead.  But again: mellow. Be advised. And I mean that in a good way.

THE LUMINEERS - The challenge for any new acoustic folk band breaking into the scene is to ride the wave created by the likes of Avett Brothers and Mumford & Sons without sounding too much like Avett and Mumford.  It's not easy, but this trio from Denver does a pretty good job of it. Your foot will be tapping and you'll be singing along, but it won't be to "Little Lion Man" or "The Perfect Space."  Instead it will be to songs like "Submarine" or the catchy "Ho Hey."  This is one of those albums that I'll listen to in one sitting and immediately play it again, because the good vibe it left me with the first time is something I want to feel again.

 

THE GOAT RODEO SESSIONS - I could've easily gone with the more recent Punch Brothers album, but I decided to stick with this one since I already teased you a bit.  Forget that it's nearly nine months old - it's got Chris Thile in it, and anything that has Chris is timeless (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a fan).  But here's the difference: for the first time in his young but already legendary career, and with all apologies to Punch Brothers and Nickel Creek, I think that with cellist Yo-Yo Ma, bassist Edgar Meyer and violinist Stuart Duncan, Thile is finally among equals. He's that good, the others are that good, and this album is that good.  Call it bluegrass, call it folk americana, call it jazz, call it classical, call it whatever.  It's all of it, and it's delightful. All I need now is for Thile to release that Bach/Radiohead mandolin cover album he promised me when I met him back in 2010.

 

COLDPLAY: LIVE 2012 - Coldplay flirts dangerously close with being one of those bands I mentioned earlier, but the fact is that I still like them.  I think that, for a pop band, they come up with clever hooks and decent songwriting (that song with Rihanna being an exception).  This live album, which is also a full concert DVD, does a good job of capturing the band's live sound, which is when I personally think they're at their best.  It also represents a nice cross-section of their body of work over the past twelve years. I still prefer 2009's LeftRightLeftRightLeft (which apparently isn't available anymore, bummer), but you can't go wrong with this one. One note: there's an explicit edition where Chris Martin uncharacteristically drops the "F" bomb (why...?).  Get the other one - all the songs are still on there and you won't know that you've missed a thing.

 

GODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!: ALLELUJAH! DON'T BEND! ASCEND! - Alright, this one's a bit of a curve ball, so get ready.  We're heading back up to Canada again; Montreal specifically.  It's a nine-piece (yep, you heard me) comprised of three guitars, two basses, two percussionists, and a violin.  No vocals.  The songs are anywhere between six and twenty minutes long and weave in and out of a dreamlike state.  Some songs are barely songs at all, at least in the classic sense: "Their Helicopters Sing" begins with some a high-pitched buzzing that morphs into a bagpipe-ish drone that lasts for a good five minutes.  There's a level of patience that's involved with listening to GYBE's music.  It's not for everyone, but that's the fun of music - listening and checking out to see if it is.

And a bonus:

DOUG DAVIS AND THE SOLID CITIZENS: A PAGEANT OF GOLD - I wrote what turned out to be the very first Amazon.com review for my good friend and former Mediocre Bad Guy bandmate's second album, and here's what I said:

If you're looking for cut-and-paste music with zero passion and production quality that sounds like it was created by your nephew in GarageBand....go somewhere else.

If you're looking for music that comes from the heart, vocals that exude soul, well-written and well-crafted songs, impeccable performance and production that is so spot-on that adding anything else or taking anything away would make the songs less than what they are, you've found the source of your next six bucks. And the beauty is that you'll wind up getting something worth much more than that.

I gave him five out of five stars, cause I'm that kinda guy.

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So, there you have it.  Give 'em a listen and let me know your thoughts.  And tell me what kind of music you're into these days.

And a quick heads-up: U2's apparently got a new album coming out in 2013. The new year is looking up already.

 

A boy can dream.

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/47855429@N04/6323104298/in/set-72157628076040302/)

Once I knew what I was looking for, I found it

Today was our Youth Sunday service.  This is where the youth of our church conduct and lead pretty much every aspect of Sunday morning worship.  There may be an adult or two behind the scenes doing something, but for the most part the youth run with it.  Without fail, it's always an amazing worship experience.  It's one of the very few times I fear for my job security.

But something was up this morning.  Something was afoot.  And I couldn't put my finger on it.  It's just that folks were acting strange around me.  I sat with the youth and adult advisors running through things in the sanctuary early in the morning, just kind of hanging out; and I got this strange feeling that I wasn't wanted there.  I can pick up vibes like that.  So I went back to my office to look through the morning bulletin.  And that's when I was struck by the title for the anthem the kids were going to sing.  It looked pretty hifalutin' for a youth-led worship service:

"I ancora haven' la t ha trovato che I' ricerca di m."

French, perhaps?  I checked Google Translate.  No luck.  By that time the worship service was almost about to start, so I left the office and headed to the sanctuary to sit with my family (a rare treat).

Turns out it's Italian for "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - a U2 classic.  That's what they were singing.  And while it fit in perfectly with their worship theme of having questions and doubts but remaining strong in the faith, they also did it as a surprise for me.   You don't have to know me very long to pick up on the fact that I'm a pretty big U2 fan.

They did great.  Apparently they had worked on it for weeks; with the help of some adults and our new music director.  All without me finding out.  You gotta like that.  There were about 25 of them singing and playing away.  It was priceless the way they smiled at me as the song began; as I made note of the familar chord progression and remembered the service theme and kind of put two and two together. 

What was really amazing was hearing our young people sing it.  As I mention in this previous blog post, contrary to initial impressions, this song is really a song of tremendous faith and belief, despite the title.  Or actually, because of the title.  We're faithful, we believe, but we're not satisfied.  There's still work to do.  We still haven't found what we're looking for.  To have our youth up there singing this was an amazing testimony.  It got some rare Presbyterian applause at the end.  And I wasn't the only one who found myself a little teary-eyed.

I encourage you to check out the entire worship service HERE.  At the very least, devote the next four minutes of your life to listening to our Beacons singing this song below.  Thanks, guys, for the surprise!  In so many ways, that is something you never fail to do.

Beacons "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by stevelindsley

And all the nations shall stream to it....

Doing some sermon prep this morning for the first Sunday of Advent (hard to believe it's almost upon us).  I'm working on Isaiah 2:1-5, which talks about a mountain and a house and the fact that everyone wants to go there.  One line is sticking out to me: And all the nations shall stream to it.  What a thought.  It's amazing how fractured our world is right now.

Anyway, sermonic musings aside, it made me think of one of my favorite U2 songs, and one of my favorite performances.  Vertigo tour, 2005.  The cool light backdrop scrolling flags from every nation on earth, as Bono and the boys sang boldly about a future with promise and hope.  If there ever was an instance of the Good News being proclaimed in a rock concert, surely this was it.

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He'll settle things fairly between nations.
He'll make things right between many peoples.
They'll turn their swords into shovels,
their spears into hoes.
No more will nation fight nation;
they won't play war anymore.

(Isaiah 2:4-5, The Message)

(click HERE for video if it doesn't show up.)

We Still Haven't Found What We're Looking For

Ah, the things that'll pop up on YouTube.  Below is a clip someone recorded at this past June Massanetta Middle School Conference (which I blogged about here and here) of the musical benediction for the closing worship that week.  Todd Davidson (the keynoter) came up with idea of the "Big 3" (the term used for the rec, music and keynote leadership team) singing U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.  If you know anything about me and my love of all things U2, you know it didn't take much to convince me to go along.  Perhaps it was providential that all three of us, including rec extraordinaire Julie Beichner, played the six-string.

It's dating me a bit - I do have a birthday coming up this week to remind me - but I remember when this song came out in the late 80's and the band - Bono especially - got a huge bad rap.  To some it appeared that the man and band who had successfully meshed rock and religion on their two previous albums (War and The Unforgettable Fire) was now taking a step back, plunging from faith into doubt.  Why, after all, would a Christian ever sing a song about not having found what they're looking for??  

The assumption, of course, is that a person of faith has acquired everything they need (thus the common expression in certain circles, "I've found Jesus") and that they're completely satisfied; that their end-goal has been reached.  Honestly, it's a dangerous assumption to make. 

The truth is that Bono wrote this song as a proclamation of steadfast faith, not doubt.  Huge faith.  Faith that is big enough to admit that even when we become "believers" we're still not where we need to be.  We have to become "followers" as well.  And that's not an easy thing, to say the least.  Because when believers make the transition to being followers, they quickly realize, as they look at the world around them, that it is broken and fractured.  And being a person of faith isn't about just getting what you need.  It's about bringing it to the world - and not in a "hit-it-over-your-head," "I'm-right-and-you're-wrong" kind of way.  It's caring about anything and everything around you and wanting to make all the wrongs right.

A few years ago I preached a sermon where I actually sang the first and third verses of this song and then followed it up with this:

The Apostle Paul preaches that “love is patient and kind; that “it does not insist on its own way” and that “it is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.”  And yet we look at the way humanity often takes that love and twists it into something else entirely, where at best it is self-serving and at worst it is downright harmful.  And so we admit – we still haven’t found what we’re looking for.

The prophet boldly proclaims that one day “the wolf shall live with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid, the calf and the lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them.”  And yet our world is torn apart with war and strife, where reconciliation between hostiles is a rarity.  We even throw children into the mix – not as leaders in peacemaking, as the prophet envisions, but as victims caught in the crossfire.  So we still haven’t found what we’re looking for.

Jesus was, among many things, a healer.  He returned sight to the blind man, life to Lazarus, and serenity to the man possessed.  And yet so often we fail to see the needs of the person right in front of us because we are focused on our own.  We are ignorant, for example, of those who die of the treatable AIDS virus in Africa – as U2’s lead singer puts it, a football stadium of people disappearing each week.  We still haven’t found what we’re looking for. 

Our Bible speaks of God doing a “new thing” in our midst – one where, as Revelation puts it, every tear will be wiped away and there will be no mourning or suffering.  All we need to do is turn on the TV and watch the news, any time of day, to shake our heads in disgust and mumble under our breath that no, we still haven’t found what we’re looking for.

Todd talked about this in his keynotes that week at Massanetta and reiterated it again right before we sang this song (the YouTube clip apparently cut it out).  So closing the conference with this folksy sing-a-long was, I thought, a stroke of genius.  These are middle-schoolers who are so much more astute than we sometimes give them credit for.  They see the state of the world.  They're also growing up in a North American Christian mindset that does a wonderful job of emphasizing the importance of being a believer, but does a pretty lousy job of teaching folks how to be followers. This song sent them - and all of us - back home with the knowledge that we still haven't found what we're looking for. And as odd as it may sound to say, I can't think of a more faithful, inspiring and hopeful message to leave on.

I'm writing again

Well, I guess it's official. After an over ten-year hiatus I'm finally back to writing songs.

The last time I wrote music and assembled a collection of original tunes was in early 1999.  That's when I traveled to Asheville, NC to record and release my second CD in three years.  I wrote a few songs after While I'm Here with every intention of heading into the studio a third time.  But a number of things happened that kept me from doing so. 

The short answer is "life."  The long answer is that my wife and I welcomed our first son into the world.  Which I wouldn't trade for the world, you understand.  But it changed things, as those sorts of things always do.  For one, I lost my music space.  What had been a spare room to house all my music equipment in and crank out a few new tunes quickly became a baby nursery.  When instruments are stored away they're not so easily accessible - out of sight, out of mind.  I also lost my weekday alone at the house, when the wife would work and I had my pastor's day off.  I used to spend a fair amount of that day strumming the six string, tickling the ivories, singing at the top of my lungs and not worrying about who might hear me.  The arrival of the bundle of joy put an end to that.

My songwriting took another hit when the family made the move up Highway 52.  It may sound strange, but something about cranking out a sermon every six days has had the effect of exhausting the "creative muse," if you will.  Again, I wouldn't give up my weekly preaching for anything, but apparently it came with a price.

So that was it.  Since then I've been out of my rhythm, out of a few different kinds of "space," and the songwriting has suffered.  Occasionally I hear a tune in my mind, usually first thing in the morning when my brain is fresh and all is quiet.  But within a matter of minutes as the hustle and bustle of the new day descends, the song is lost.  And it's not like I want to come home from work and ditch family time to lock myself in the bedroom with the six-string.  It's all about priorities, and the fact is there are new things in my life that are higher up the totem pole.  So for nearly a decade, the songwriting has laid dormant. Sometimes I even wondered if I had lost it altogether.

Until a month or so ago, as 2010 rang in and my upcoming music-based sabbatical inched closer.  It was almost as if the anticipation of three months spent listening to and writing music was waking the creative muse from her hibernation.  The breakthrough continued as I began planning music for the Massanetta Middle School Conference.  I've already mentioned in a previous blog about my skepticism regarding most praise & worship music.  Part of the solution, I decided, was to write some of my own.  I don't want to give away too much here - things are still in progress and a lot can change in the next few months.  But the plan is to compile a five-song EP in some format; original tunes that will work well in a songleading environment.  One is a co-write with fellow Mayberry musician Jerry Chapman, two are older originals I'm dusting off the shelves, and two more are brand-spanking new tunes. 

The main thing is, ten years removed from my last serious effort, I'm doing some things differently this time around.  I'm listening to music with a particular ear toward song structure, melodies and rhythm, looking to find what musical identity fits me best (U2, Kings of Leon and David Crowder Band are getting a workout on my ipod).  I'm trying out some new ways of writing - not going to the guitar as is my habit, but beginning with rhythms and bass instead.  I'm inviting some others to join me on the journey - the aforementioned Chapman and fellow bandmate Doug Davis, who in addition to being a phenomenal songwriter himself also happens to have a pretty sweet studio where I'll do the recording. 

But the biggest difference, if I had to guess, is simple: I'm trusting myself more.  I'm not nixing a melody or chord progression just because I don't fall in love with it immediately.  I'm not getting frustrated when the song doesn't materialize as quickly as I want it to - I'm granting it more "space" to form on its own. There's an inherent fear in songwriting when you hit those road blocks along the way and that little voice inside you wonders out loud if you've still "got it."  I'm choosing not to listen to that voice anymore, which is a big step for me.

It's exciting.  I've had a blast playing covers for the past eight years and plan to keep it up.  But it's also good to know there's still some music left in me that is uniquely me.  We'll see where this goes.  For the time being, it's good to be writing again.

In case you missed the show....

8:30pm this past Sunday night.  I logged on to my laptop in anticipation of U2's YouTube-streamed concert, live from the Rose Bowl.  All the publicity had drilled in my head 8:30, 8:30, but instead of hearing the crowd roar at the opening number I was subjected to the background music of a rolling prelim.  And it was then I realized: 8:30pm. Pacific Time.  Oops.

Three hours later, there I was, tucked in bed for the night with laptop on my chest.  I watched it until 1am, although I confess to dozing off from time to time.  Hey, I'm only human. How pleased I was when the entire concert was back on YouTube the next day, and presumably for many days in the future. Now I get to watch it in a full state of consciousness.

So here's my take on the whole "U2 360" circular stage and the "Claw" or "Spaceship" or whatever you want to call it: I'm not the greatest fan of the approach.  It smacks of excess that runs the risk of becoming the show itself, rather than the music.  Honestly, it reminds me in many ways of the PopMart Tour a decade ago that contributed in large part to the band's perceived demise, before All That You Can't Leave Behind rescued them.  It's just hard for an audience to connect to four small guys on a huge stage, no matter how big the video screens are.  I much prefer the Elevation or Vertigo tours which took place in smaller arenas rather than football stadiums, void of the over-reaching flash and glitz this tour has.  A much more intimate feel, relatively-speaking.

But the music....well, that's a different story entirely.  Thank God for the music.  And yeah, I know, the album didn't sell all that well in the States (although I was quite fond of it).  Nor was there a single that latched on to radio playlists for any decent length of time.  But the reality is that U2, in my opinion, is beyond that.  I just don't think they need a hit single that gets plays ad nauseam in order to stay relevant.  That may sound kind of silly in a business that's all "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately," but I still believe it's true.  Over the past three decades U2 has proven that they know how to make good music that speaks to the heart and soul.  Even if it's performed on a ridiculously huge stage.

I missed them when they were in Raleigh a few weeks ago (good thing too, as apparently a significant number of fans missed the entire show due to traffic problems - I mean, how back would that suck??)  They just announced more U.S. dates next summer.  I hope to be at one of them.

In the meantime, take a couple of hours and enjoy the show.  Some highlights: Magnificent, Mysterious Ways, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Unknown Caller, Where The Streets Have No Name.  And how about The Unforgettable Fire and Ultraviolet (Light My Way) - when were the last time they played those live??  Watch it below or click here for a larger screen.

Apparently I'm "Dad" now

It happened in the car the other day when I was driving the elder home from swim team practice.  It was around 6:47pm EST.  Mark the time.  It is the moment when my son, from the back seat of the car over my right shoulder, asked me what we were having for dinner that night.  But it wasn't what he asked me but how he asked me that caught me unprepared:

Hey Dad, do you know what's for dinner?

I was getting ready to tell him that Mom was fixing her wonderful spaghetti until time as I experienced it came to a screeching halt:

Dad.

Dad??  What was that?  DAD??

I mumbled the answer to his query but my mind was barely on topic.  It was hopelessly stuck in that moment 15 seconds prior and the noticeable change in nomenclature.

Dad.  Not Daddy, but Dad.

There come many moments in parenthood when you realize that your children are growing up.  When they first really smile at you as an infant and you know it's not the gas.  When they take their first step, say their first word (or something close to one).  When they walk through those school doors for the first time.  For the most part, though, you are semi-prepared for these shifts; so you learn to receive them with grace and thankfulness.

But no one told me about the day I wouldn't be "Daddy" anymore.

It's not like I thought I'd be one forever, of course.  Never pictured my high school graduate giving me a big hug and saying "Thanks Daddy."  Never envisioned his mother and I paying a visit to the family in their new house, our grandkids running around, and him saying "Welcome to our home, Daddy."  I knew the switch was inevitable - just not this soon.  Nowhere near this soon.

I mean, I've been "Daddy" ever since this little fella came into our lives six and a half years ago. Even before he could say a real word he was blabbering it's close derivative: Dada.  That's been my primary identity all these years - but apparently no longer.

And don't try to tell me the two are the same, cause they're not.  "Daddy" is the stuff of skinned knees from falling off the swingset, playing pretend rock band with a broom and pots and wooden spoons, and reading "Guess How Much I Love You" at bedtime.  "Dad" is something else entirely.  "Dad" is all about car keys and allowance and grown-up privileges.  Dad is how you're introduced to your child's significant other when they enter the picture.

Ugh.  When exactly did this happen?  What event precipitated this transformation?  I was chewing on this furiously as the car made its way home.  Maybe it came from school and being there with other kids, most of whom are a few years older than he - maybe he picked it up there?  Maybe from some TV show, perhaps?

And then it occurred to me that the truth of it all is that the kid is growing up.  He'll be seven in September - hard to believe.  We'd been to the dentist earlier that afternoon and he's got four loose teeth.  They were telling me not to freak out when the permanent ones come in and they look huge; adult teeth situated inside the head of a small but fast-growing boy.  He's playing t-ball and is signed up for the swim team.  He's talking about having sleepovers with his best buddy.  He's telling me what songs he wants on his ipod when he gets one (which is not anytime soon, I can assure you).  He's talking about Jesus and God being the same person and the difference is that Jesus "is kind of like a Transformer" - pretty astute theological thinking for a kindergartner, I thought.

My boy is growing up.  And I love it; I really do.  I love how our relationship changes and grows with age, and how we talk about different things now, more in-depth.  I love how we can have a real conversation about death and dying after watching Marley and Me; how he actually offers legitimate gift ideas for Mother's Day, how we can go from simply memorizing the names of the four dudes in U2 to which songs are off which albums and what instruments are played.  I'm not one of those parents who mourns every corner turned as their child moves forward on the path of life.  I'm a sentimental guy, but I'm also a realist; and I feel it's better to celebrate the changes rather than get all bent out of shape over them.

Still, there's something about suddenly being "Dad" that's just freaky.  Could he not have given me a heads-up, perhaps?  Hey, just wanted to let you know - from now on you'll be "Dad" and not "Daddy."  Would that have helped?  Probably not.

I guess there are worse things I could be called.  Never been a fan of "Pops," and "Old Man" is even worse.  There will probably be a time or two in the heat of the moment when I get called some unrepeatable name, so I better be thankful it's not that.

But still: Dad. Sheesh. The boy's growing up on me. They weren't kidding when they said not to blink.